Bland Clothes, Rich heart

Bland Clothes, Rich heart

Just the other day I was wearing high heels and taking the train either downtown Minneapolis to my design job or to the airport flying to a job sites all over the US.  I probably had an Au Bon Pain coffee in hand and was either reading a book or scrolling through my blackberry. (Yup, it was a while ago).  Shopping at Saks on my lunch break or heading to the Central Library to take in the light at one of my favorite buildings.  Now, my days look much different.  I load up three kids in a dust covered, ten-year-old minivan with mud/dog poop on my boots to go to the local library, town pool or grocery store. There is probably a dog or two trying to hitch a ride and maybe even a cat.  It’s loud and hectic and I’m probably yelling at someone to stop yelling.  I spill my home brewed coffee down the front of my target T-shirt and say “Dog-gone-it!”.  Because that’s what I say now.  Wally probably says, “Mommy. Mad.” I try to take a deep breath like Daniel Tiger has taught us, but I’m pissed.  I really needed that coffee and I’ll have to chuck the shirt in the “work-out” pile because that stain won’t come out. At these moments, I long for my former life.

I can’t order takeout, but am forced to learn how to cook local, organic and healthy. We don’t visit a variety of parks and zoos any longer, but play ninja warrior on our woodpile, fallen trees and hay bales.  The closest grocery store is 15 mins away but now buy our beef and pork in 1/4 or 1/2 increments from local farms.  We don’t try out the newest restaurants anymore.  You are more likely to find us taking our herd over to a friend’s or family’s house for drinks and dinner. We are entertained by a campfire and lighting bugs instead of going downtown to a pub or concert.  And we get to wave to the cows that produce our milk and watch them graze in their field.  We don’t have the choice of french immersion schools or a variety of sports to play for our children, but know most of the families we see at school functions.

This is not the life that I envisioned; it’s better.

We get the experience of yurt roller skating giggles, puppet shows, painting old boxes into a pretend school bus, spy adventures, reading books in a pile of leaves and lots of cuddles by a cozy fire.   We are loved deeply by our friends and family because we invest in their lives as they are in ours.  We have less money, less stuff, less energy and less worry.  We are filled with contentment and peace. Our clothes, shoes, cars are bland.  But we are rich in spirit and mind.

When I dream of the quiet of my previous life or doubt our decisions of yurt and family, all I need to do is open my eyes/ears to see/hear the joy of our lives.

Stay with me, I may need a hand to hold.

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